This phrase has been in my head for a few weeks now!
From an absolute gem of a children's book, I now find it so useful in thinking about our own emotions and how so many of us do anything and everything we possibly can to find a way around them.
Unfortunately, I think society gives us a huge helping hand with that avoidance these days too.
This phone we carry around all day every day, full of distractions at every second has programmed us to not even sit on the toilet and go about our business without scrolling.
It can feel like we barely have space for our own thoughts, let alone our emotions that many of us are honestly quite afraid of feeling.
So the pattern continues.
Avoidance.
Numbing.
Distracting.
We can begin to feel less alive, less motivated, more frustrated, more confused. We can get stuck in the mental realm trying to figure out how to change our behaviours, but the truth is our emotions are often a big driver of our behaviour...
Boredom.
Fear.
Anger.
Sadness.
Grief.
Depression.
and guess what:
“We can't go over it. We can't go under it. We have to go through it.”
The practice of tuning into our true emotions and remaining present with whatever surfaces.
That's the work a lot of us need.
It's not easy and it's often confronting, especially for those of us who grew up learning it wasn't okay to feel.
In this regard, it requires us to re-parent ourselves a little. We must find the courage and the compassion to sit with ourselves through the emotional experience and simply allow it.
It may help to know that neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor discovered that when an emotional response is triggered, the brain releases a surge of neurochemicals that create physiological sensations and if we do nothing to feed the emotion, this chemical reaction naturally dissipates within 90 seconds.
Pretty cool hey?
If we can be brave when going about out day, and instead of checking in on our phone, we check in on ourselves. We pay real attention to what we're feeling. Maybe then we can also have the courage to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and begin to move beyond what holds us back.
Now if you can’t find those feelings, because they’re buried a little deep and the brain and body feel a little too separate from each other, start with the breath.
Perhaps then, we can start to move more towards what helps us feel more fully alive.
